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Smilers Wear a Crown, Losers Wear a Frown


There are few things in this world that take as much heart, soul and dedication as a child competing in beauty pageants. How can we expect our children to know the real meaning of beauty if they do not participate in such events? Many important life lessons are taught the moment the baby Barbie steps foot on stage. Strutting into the bright lights with her $5,000 smile, she gazes out into the audience at her screaming mother and understands the importance of a supportive maternal figure in one's life. As her ten-pounds of makeup glimmer on stage and freshly manicured claws earn her the prestigious title of Ultimate Grand Supreme, she learns what it means to be confidently beautiful.

Full commitment is imperative to the toddler queen's success in said beauty contests. Without the tireless efforts from a competitor's stage mom, the girls might never be able to conquer the spotlight with unparalleled confidence while, of course, maintaining a positive attitude. A girl with such zealous support from her mother teaches her just how much hard work it takes to be seen as gorgeous in the society we live in. In order to reach the high ceiling Honey Boo Boo has set for child entrepreneurs everywhere, consistent perfection must always be at the forefront of attention. Without the mother’s passionate tenacity to teach the upcoming generation of women how dire it is to be pretty, they might think that there are more important things in life! The persistent guidance from a child’s ‘momager’ is exactly what is needed in order for the next Miss Universe to be born.

If you think about it, only positive elements could possibly come out of a child participating in a pageant. Today’s society worries so much about how adolescents should perceive beauty when the simple answer is right in front of us! Teaching our youth as early as we can that attractiveness is what really gets you places, will create a more balanced world. If we require that little girls enter beauty pageants as young as one-day old, it will ensure she grows up with the correct definition of beauty. With the help of these glamour charades, parents will never again have to fear if their child knows the importance of being pulchritudinous.

Some pageants require an on stage question/interview, which kind of sends the wrong message to children that what’s on the inside counts but, 95% of the total score is derived from the competitors physical attractiveness, so no need for parents to fret. In fact, Miss America 2016 was asked a question about Deflategate, the 2015 Tom Brady scandal, and answered simply that “she would have to feel the balls” in order to make a judgement call. The answer did evoke some worry in viewers that she would not win because of her strange response but, alas, she took the sparkly hat home. Another example of intelligence being crowned first runner up to looks is when Miss Utah USA 2013 was asked her opinion on the wage gap and responded with the ever so competent answer that America needed to “create education better”. Clearly, these women are the kind of people growing girls need to have as their role models. Being beautiful on the outside and imbellic on the inside is what ultimately allowed them to achieve their dreams.

It is crucial that our children recognize a perfect outward appearance as the end goal in life. This life lesson can be obtained by pushing them to jump into the respected world of beauty pageants at a developing age. I mean they must be a vital part of our society if our newly elected President of the United States owned the most watched pageant in history for eighteen years, right?


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